This was a fascinating article, an audio article by Dee Ann Miller.
The audio can be downloaded here.
I will let this post pretty much speak for itself.
Survivors are fielded with commandments that come from the spiritual community,
even if you aren't a survivor of clergy abuse.
You have heard many commandments:
Thou shall keep quiet - would be one
Thou shalt preserve the institution
Shall shalt not bear false witness - meaning that you are lying
Shall shalt not speak against your neighbor
on and on it goes as if these were these are the voices of God.
For survivors who have a deep religious faith or have had one
It is important in the renewal of spirituality to understand that everything that one is commanded from the institutional leaders is not necessarily helpful
I thought giving you 7 commandments could be helpful
So here they are:
Commandment one - thou shall NOT blame thy self when others do not get it.
They suffer from short sightedness and blind spots. You are not responsible for changing that. THEY ARE!
Commandment two - thou shall NOT set a timetable for your healing, OR for the healing of the larger community. While time alone can not heal - healing takes time.
Number 3 - thou shall not accept without question anyone else's prescription for your healing. YOU alone can judge when, and how to proceed. When to take a rest, and when to celebrate.
Number 4 - Thou shall not fail to celebrate small successes. You may the only one that recognizes them, and the only one that can reward yourself for them.
Commandment number 5 - thou shall NOT isolate thyself. No matter how strong the temptations seem, or how overwhelming the struggle taking time to be alone may help. But staying in isolation stifles creativity and leads to OVER AWFULIZING!
Commandment #6 - Thou SHALT surround thyself with beauty. Beautiful people, nature beautiful music and enriching experiences. Reminding yourself that all of these good things produces strength, and growth.
Commandment #7 - Thou SHALL stand TALL! even when feeling low. Showing to the world what you are learning about yourself as you overcome.
This audio is part of the collection: Community Audio
Artist/Composer: Dee Ann Miller
Keywords: clergy abuse; domestic violence; verbal abuse; emotional abuse; physical abuse; sexual abuse; faith; church